


We keep this love

by sunsethue



Category: EXO
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 17:32:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14169969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsethue/pseuds/sunsethue
Summary: It’s Chanyeol’s love that keeps Jongin going.





	We keep this love

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for Kaifectionery Fic Fest Prompt #286.

They knew it was not going to be easy. But no one told them it would be this difficult.

Jongin feels tired and his whole body aches. But he can’t rest yet because their second evaluation will be tomorrow. He passed the first one easily but he knows that he shouldn’t be complacent. Competition is tough and they won’t hesitate to cut him off if he doesn’t perform well.

Jongin craves to taste his mother’s home cooked food. Food in New York is too bland for his taste. He misses the rich flavor of his mother’s stew and the smell of kimchi. 

He prefers being in the dance studio. His room is cold despite the installed heater and the city outside feels even colder. 

At least, inside the dance studio, he is surrounded by people who share the same passion as him. In here, he is busy. It takes away a bit of his loneliness, even if it doesn’t lessen how much he misses Chanyeol.

He opens his phone and reads the last message from Chanyeol. It was a short good morning message but there a selfie attached to it with Chanyeol looking sleepy but smiling brightly. It was sent 8 hours ago and Jongin still hasn’t replied. 

He wants to reply now but it’s already 3 a.m. in Seoul and even if there’s a high chance that Chanyeol is still awake, Jongin knows he shouldn’t keep him up. Besides, he’s only on a 10-minute break and their instructor is bound to call them back anytime now. 

Jongin decides he will just send his reply later when he gets back home and focus for now on the dance routine he needs to memorize. Giving his best to his art is the only way to compensate for being miles away from everyone he loves. 

**

Jongin gets back home a little past 8 p.m. It’s a totally new record of 12 hours spent in the dance studio. He would have stayed longer but the instructor specifically told him to go home earlier and rest a lot tonight.

“Your dance is close to perfect now, Jongin,” his instructor said. “But your energy is a bit down. Go home, rest, and recharge. It’s the only way you can do great tomorrow.”

So Jongin buys himself a quick dinner and heads back to his room. He made some new friends over the past four months he’s in New York but he’s not feeling sociable tonight. There’s only one person he really wants to talk to and he hopes Chanyeol is awake already.

Jongin sends a simple good morning to Chanyeol. He wants to send a selfie too but before he can even take a photo, his phone rings already.

“Jonginnie,” a deep voice says from the other line.

Jongin automatically smiles. His name always sounds nicer when it’s Chanyeol saying it.

“Did you just wake up?”

“Yeah, I slept a little late because I was trying to finish a song. I’ll make you listen to it after Kyungsoo recorded it. I know his voice is your favorite,” Chanyeol says.

Jongin pouts. “Kyungsoo’s just my second favorite. You know you’re always my top favorite on everything.”

Chanyeol laughs. “Ah, you’re flattering me as soon as I wake up. I really hit a jackpot with you.”

Jongin can feel his cheeks blush. Chanyeol always returns compliments with sweeter compliments. He has a smooth way with words and that makes him a good lyricist. 

“I miss you,” he says, feeling his heart ache just a bit. He wants nothing more than to envelope Chanyeol in a tight hug right now.

“I miss you too,” Chanyeol says. “How are you? Feeling nervous about your second evaluation? Don’t overexert yourself in practice okay?” 

“Hey, you’re nagging me even when we are continents apart.”

“I just know you too well, Jonginnie. Now tell me, how’s your day?”

They converse for almost an hour. They don’t get to talk everyday so they don’t run out of topics to talk about. 

Jongin’s dinner is cold and Chanyeol will probably late to his first class of the day by the time they hang up. But both feel warmer inside and have brighter smiles on their faces as they survive another day of being miles away from each other.

“Hearing your voice gives me so much energy,” Chanyeol says before they hang up. “But aren’t you supposed to send me a photo too? I sent you a really cute selfie hours ago.”

“I was supposed to do that but you called me before I can even take a photo.”

“Don’t forget to do it later okay? You owe me one photo a day,” Chanyeol says, trying to sound demanding but ending up sounding really cute. 

Jongin lightly chuckles. “I will, before I sleep. Now get up from your bed and go to school, Chanyeolie,” he says affectionately.

Jongin thinks he’ll never be as good as Chanyeol in taking selcas and overcompensates with the use of his favorite filter but the tons of hearts Chanyeol replies after he sent his good night message makes him blush and sleep with a smile that night.

**

Everyone around them says that if there’s one couple who could survive a long distance relationship, it would be Jongin and Chanyeol. 

Jongin and Chanyeol had known each other for almost their whole lives. They were neighbors and close friends before they started dating during Chanyeol’s last year in high school. When Jongin got accepted in the same college as Chanyeol, their parents allowed them to live together in the same apartment. They have the same group of friends who all swear that Jongin and Chanyeol have reached that level of telepathic connection already with the way they can finish each other’s sentences and read each other’s moods.

In everyone’s eyes, nothing can break Jongin and Chanyeol apart. They are too in love with each other that they’ll be able to endure any challenge in their relationship. 

But it’s this familiarity and closeness that made Jongin insecure of their relationship too. Insecurity which led to the biggest fight they ever had. 

It was one Friday night during Jongin’s sophomore year and he arrived home to a gloomy Chanyeol. An unusual sight, because Chanyeol is the epitome of happiness and delight. Jongin has always been the grumpier one in their relationship. 

“What’s wrong Chanyeol?” Jongin immediately asks, sitting next to him on their couch.

Chanyeol points to a brown envelope on the table and Jongin freezes. It’s the letter of acceptance and scholarship grant from Julliard Dance that one of his professors handed to him a week ago. His professor sent in application for several of his students and only Jongin got in.

“When are you planning to tell me about the scholarship?” Chanyeol ask quietly.

“I wasn’t going to tell you because I’m not going to accept it.”

“What? Why? This is an important achievement, Jongin. Why would you refuse it?”

“Well, maybe for the same reason you rejected the offer from that music company to sign you as their artist?”

Chanyeol was surprised with Jongin’s reply.

“You didn’t tell me that SM Entertainment wanted to sign you and that you rejected it immediately,” Jongin says, accusingly.

“I didn’t tell you because I never considered that path for me. I love music and I love the band but you know that I never wanted to pursue it as a career. I want to be a lawyer, more than anything else.”

“I know that. But still, you should have told me. And that’s the same reason I have. I don’t want to go to Julliard, Chanyeol.”

“Now that’s a lie. Dancing is everything for you and Julliard is one of the best institutions to help you reach your dreams.”

“That’s not true. Julliard is great and all and yes dancing is my passion and dream, but it’s not everything for me. You are my everything and Julliard sits on the other side of the world, far from you so I’m not going there.”

Chanyeol was quiet and Jongin can see sadness and disappointment in his eyes.

“You’re not happy with my decision,” Jongin says. “You want me to go?”

“No, Jongin. But I think… I think we should take a break,” Chanyeol says, avoiding his eyes.

“What?” Jongin says, obviously surprised. These were the last words he thought he’d hear from Chanyeol tonight. 

“I think I’m not being good for you right now,” Chanyeol says, pursing his lips. “Maybe it’s because we’ve always been together? Is that why you feel you shouldn’t leave and pursue your dreams? Then maybe we should take a break.”

“No!” Jongin screams. “That’s not true. Chanyeol, I am not leaving because I don’t want to be in long distance relationship with you and now you want to break up? This is stupid!”

“Not break up… just take a break. You obviously think our relationship can’t withstand the distance so maybe we are doing this all wrong.”

“Please Chanyeol, stop this. I can pursue my dreams here. I am pursuing my dreams here. I don’t have to fly to New York to fulfill it,” Jongin insists. “I don’t want to live two years away from you. And I don’t want us to break up or take a break or whatever you’re suggesting. Let’s just forget all this, please.”

Jongin holds Chanyeol’s face with his both hands and stares straight into his eyes. He can feel tears streaming on his eyes, both from the pain of seeing Chanyeol’s sadness and the suggestion that he can live without him.

“I’m just... if you’re staying, if you’re rejecting this once in a lifetime chance, I hope it’s because it’s what you really want and not because me,” Chanyeol says with a tone of finality before walking away and leaving Jongin in their empty living room. 

In all of their years together, that was their only fight where Chanyeol walked away first. That was also the first fight that lasted for more than a day because Chanyeol didn’t come home nor answer his calls for 48 straight hours.

**

The break up – or taking a break – didn’t last for more than two days though. Chanyeol carefully crawls back on their shared bed on an early Monday morning and Jongin hugs him tightly, failing to stop his tears from falling.

“Ssh… don’t cry,” Chanyeol says. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Sleep first; we’ll talk about this later.”

They missed their classes that day because they decided to spend the whole day just talking. Their few days apart were beneficial for both of them, Jongin realized later.

He had been in denial that he does not want to go when the only thing stopping him is the fear of not being with Chanyeol for two years. Jongin realized that there are so many other ways to lose Chanyeol even if he doesn’t leave but the best way to keep him – to protect their relationship – is to confidently trust each other no matter what the situation is.

In return, Chanyeol confessed that he had been personally worried for a while now if he was preventing Jongin from having the best in life just because he wants to selfishly keep him. The scholarship offer and Jongin’s decision that was dependent on him made his worry get the best of him. 

“I don’t want to lose you, Jongin,” Chanyeol tells him. “But I realize too that, for me, the only thing more important than our relationship is your happiness. So I wish I can make you feel secured that you can pursue whatever makes you happy without losing me. That’s all I want.”

Jongin nods and contemplates on Chanyeol’s words. They talk about the possible changes and challenges they have to face if Jongin decides to take the scholarship. 

“This is why all the advancements in technology are useful. To aid poor lovers like us, right?” Chanyeol lightly jokes.

“I guess we can always talk on the phone or through Skype. There are Facebook and Kakaotalk too,” Jongin says.

Chanyeol reaches to squeeze Jongin’s hand. “We’ll make it, Jonginnie. Nothing can break us apart, not the distance and not the time apart. I believe in us.”

“I believe in us too. But I’ll miss you terribly. We’ve always been together, every day. I can’t wrap my mind on the thought of not seeing you, physically, for a long period of time.”

“I can send you pictures everyday so you can monitor how handsome I become each passing day?” Chanyeol says, grinning.

Jongin ruffles his boyfriend’s hair and laughs. “I actually like that idea, but not every day. Maybe every other day?” he suggests.

**

Chanyeol and Jongin survived their two years apart. Between them, they collected around 600 photos, most selfies, at least a hundred short videos and audio recordings. Once, during Christmas, Chanyeol sent Jongin a handwritten letter along with his gift. Jongin may have showed it off to his friends in Julliard, Yixing and Taemin. 

Not everything went smoothly, of course. There was one time when Jongin cannot contact Chanyeol for days only to find out that the older boy ended up in the hospital because of over fatigue.

At first Chanyeol refused to talk to Jongin through Skype because he didn’t want the younger boy to see him on the hospital bed. But Jongin threatened him that he’s flying back the next flight if they don’t talk face to face as soon as possible. He knows Jongin will push through with his threat just to make sure Chanyeol is okay so he asked his older sister to help him set up the laptop.

When the call went it, Chanyeol expected Jongin to be angry. He actually feels angry with himself too, for cramming his academics too late that he had to stay up for three straight days then instead of resting after, he partied with his friends thinking he can push himself for one more day. It was unhealthy and wrong and Chanyeol knows he could have died. So Jongin has every right to be angry.

But he was taken by surprise when instead of anger, Jongin was actually crying. 

“Hello love,” he weakly says, trying to smile to Jongin will see he’s okay. “Don’t cry, baby. I’m still alive.”

“Barely. You barely survived, Park Chanyeol.”

“Are you angry? I’m sorry, Jonginnie…”

“I’m not angry. I’m dying of worry now. I know how much you regret your decisions now so I won’t nag you anymore. But please… please don’t do this again okay?”

“It was foolish of me to go over my limits. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“Don’t say sorry anymore. Just feel better soon okay? And don’t keep me in the dark again. I didn’t even know you were having a hard time in school.”

“No, I won’t do that again. It’s selfish of me to always nag you and demand to know everything you do but I don’t do the same with you.”

“Chanyeolie… do you want me to come home?” Jongin asks.

“What? No! I mean yes, I want you to come home but you just have three more months in your program. We managed it so far, what’s a few more months right?”

Jongin nods. He knows they’ll survive the remaining months. After all, they are Jongin and Chanyeol.

**

Chanyeol’s graduation from university and Jongin’s first official performance with the dance company fell on the same month. 

“I feel so sad that I can’t cheer for you on your special day,” Jongin says. It was the night before Chanyeol’s graduation.

“That’s not true. You’ve been cheering for me all these years. I can feel you cheering for me even when you’re not physically here.”

“I love you, you know that right?” Jongin says, pouting just a bit. 

“I love you too. And when you come home, you need to show me your debut performance. I’m going to work hard and use my first paycheck to rent a huge venue for your own solo showcase.”

Jongin laughs.

“No need for that. We can just rent a dance studio and I can perform for you if you promise to sing your songs for me.”

“I could arrange that,” Chanyeol says, a tone of confidence in his voice.

A moment of silence passed between them and Jongin failed to stop himself from crying.

“I’m sorry for being away for too long,” he says, his voice breaking a bit.

“Don’t be sorry, love. I’m still here. I’m still here, waiting for you. Come back home to me when you can,” Chanyeol says.

Jongin nods. He sees Chanyeol rub his eyes, as if fighting his sleepiness, so they decide to hang up already. “Don’t forget to send me a photo of you in your graduation gown okay?” he says. Chanyeol laughs and Jongin feels more heartache because he misses him so badly. 

**

Jongin gets a standing ovation for his last performance. He also gets an invitation to further his studies at the London Contemporary Dance School. He turns it down, because he has fulfilled his goals for his art. Now, he just really wants to come home.

Chanyeol is the first person he calls after his performance. He’s standing outside the building of the theater.

“Congratulations love, you really did amazing. I’m so proud of you,” Chanyeol says.

Jongin laughs. “Is that a standard congratulatory message? You didn’t even see what I did. What if I’m calling because I failed?” 

“You’d never fail,” Chanyeol says. Jongin can visualize him smiling as he said that. “Because you always give your whole heart in everything you do. So I know you’ll always do amazing things.”

“I wasn’t really fishing for compliments, but yeah, I did really well. You should’ve seen me. My teachers can’t stop complimenting me,” Jongin says, smirking just a bit.

“That last turns you did for the ending were really beautiful. I never get to know the names of the routines you do, sorry,” Chanyeol says, laughing.

Jongin was shocked. He looked around before speaking again on the phone. “Where are you?”

Chanyeol laughs again. “Look behind you, Jonginnie.”

Jongin thinks he’s going to cry. He runs to Chanyeol’s open arms and buries his head on his boyfriend’s chest. “What are you doing here?” he sobs.

“I came to pick you up and take you home,” Chanyeol answers, lightly patting his boyfriend’s hair. 

“I love you,” Jongin says. “Let’s go home now.”

It wasn’t easy. They had a hundreds of photos, videos, text messages, and call records to prove that everyday Jongin and Chanyeol worked hard to keep their relationship strong. And everyone is right. If there’s one couple who could survive a long distance relationship, it would be Jongin and Chanyeol.


End file.
